What do you do when sex hurts? Do you white-knuckle your way through it, because you think you should? In this episode, hear why trying to push through the pain doesn’t work — nor is it what God wants for you. We’ll offer advice to help you find the right provider or therapist to help you understand and treat the reason for your pain. You’re not alone!
Guests: Dr. Carol Tanksley, OB-GYN and Joy Skarka
Thousands of online forums overflow with people asking if they should date and marry cancer survivors. Misconceptions and social stigma force people to reject cancer survivors as possible spouses. My husband Zack shared with me that during his junior year of college, girls would express interest in dating him, but when they found out he previously had cancer, that interest evaporated. Imagine living through a life-threatening illness to then have your heart broken because of the memory of it. But I’m glad. My gain.
These kinds of studies point out an interesting fact about how our culture defines marriage. We place marriage in the category labeled “self-fulfillment.” The question we should ask ourselves is do we believe that God created marriage for our personal gain? If so, then yes, you should bolt from any cancer survivors.
Unsurprisingly, many marriages end in divorce. When we hear about a couple that has been married for fifty years, we are shocked. What if this changed? What if divorce surprised us? What if being married fifty years was the norm?
Meet Dale and Carol. Dale and Carol recently celebrated fifty years of marriage. Send them some congratulations in the comments below! (more…)
On May 27, 2017, I married my husband, Zack Skarka. I knew he had survived cancer, but I had no doubts in my decision to marry him. Check out my story on the Boundless Blog about trusting God with our fears. Love, Joy
“Run. Bolt before he dies and leaves you heartbroken.” That’s what a friend said when I told her about the cancer-surviving man I had met in the elevator.
Just days before this conversation, this man and I had become Facebook friends. While scrolling through his profile pictures, I paused — I saw a white sash draped over his shoulder. Not any white sash, but one that read “survivor.” That cute boy I met in the elevator had survived cancer.
Maybe I should run now while I have the chance. (more…)
Relationship ConflictHave you ever hurt someone unintentionally while you were trying to show them love?
Joy and I serve together with the children’s ministry at our church in Dallas. One Sunday, during story time, a child was tugging on Joy’s jeans, trying to rip them apart. I thought that the best thing I could do to love Joy well was to walk over, pick up the child, and have the child pester me instead, so that is what I did. Afterward, I was so proud of myself for doing the right thing and making Joy’s night better. (more…)
Riding the elevator up to our hotel room the night of my wedding was the most exciting elevator ride of my life. God had redeemed my sexually broken past and that night I believed he would bless our new marriage. (more…)
If you’ve wondered where I’ve been these last few months, I was planning a wedding and marrying this godly man! Now, I’m trying to figure out how to manage work, blogging, seminary, friends and family. My heart continues to desire for women to find freedom in Christ, thus the blog will continue.
My dear blogging friends, I wanted to share with you two videos. The first video is our personal testimonies and our love story and the second is from our wedding. Enjoy!
Thank you for all your support in this journey. God gets all the glory. I will continue writing for Him and for you, my readers.
Love,
In four months I can freely have sex with my husband whenever we want, but for now, we can’t. We’re engaged and waiting. Deciding to honor God in purity, my fiancé and I are refraining from experiencing sexual intimacy. This isn’t easy. In fact, waiting is hard.
We’ve messed up and have pushed the boundaries further than we’ve wanted to, but we still have yet to have sex. And each time we realize we are pushing the line, we re-evaluate. We re-check our physical boundaries. We re-ask each other this question:
Why are we fighting for purity?
If we don’t know why we are fighting, we will stop fighting. If we don’t see the value of purity, we will never guard it. (What does the Bible say about purity?) Beth Moore explains this perfectly in her new study, Entrusted, “We won’t effectively guard what we don’t highly esteem.”
Do you have high esteem for purity? Do you want to live a life marked by obedience to God? (more…)
Desiring to feel loved and beautiful, I downloaded Tinder and uploaded my cutest selfie. Sick of being single and waiting on God’s perfect timing, I wanted to take things into my own hands. I wanted control over my dating life.
Impatient and not trusting God, I began the quest for a man. Swiping right if I found him attractive and left if he was too creepy, I was making every decision based on looks. During this season in college, I was a believer and truly loved God, but I lacked intimacy with Him.
Instead of growing in intimacy with God, I wanted instant intimacy.
I believed that instant intimacy was only found in the love of a man, so in that moment, when he swiped right too and we were a match, I felt desired. This feeling didn’t last. Instead of believing what God says is true about me, I believed I was unloved and ugly. Yet, I kept on swiping and searching for intimacy.
Have you ever sought out intimacy, yet remained unsatisfied? (more…)
I recently got engaged to a godly Christian man. Let me share with you our proposal story. Zack and I were back at his apartment after a night of two-stepping. That morning I had landed in Dallas after being away for a few weeks. When I got home from the airport Zack had given me roses and showed me a puzzle that he completed as a surprise.
Zack knows I love puzzles. In fact, growing up my Dad called me the Puzzle Queen. Months before Zack proposed, Zack had ordered this personalized puzzle online and completed the whole puzzle by himself (a big task for a non puzzle queen). After finishing it, he flipped it over and wrote a secret message that I wouldn’t see for months. (more…)
