“I had one woman say, ‘I struggle with masturbation.’ And she just started crying. And then she said, ‘I’ve never said that word out loud.’”
In this Java with Juli, Joy Skarka recalls her experiences walking with women who struggle with porn, and shares from her own story of addiction to freedom. Despite rising numbers of women using porn and erotica, we still tend to refer to it as a “guy thing.” Juli, Joy, and Jonathan Daugherty sit down for a conversation about creating safe places for women to come forward and ask for help. Grab your Java and join us!
I am so excited that HeartStrong Faith has launched a brand new podcast called, “Honest Conversations | HeartStrong Faith.” What they do is discuss difficult topics by seeing what the Bible really has to say about them.
This week, I joined Rebecca Carrell and Liz Rodriguez to share my journey of sexual healing and how to minister to those who struggle.
Did you know that JP Ministries offers a free 6 day Bible reading plan on the YouVersion Bible app? (Click here to start the plan.) Attached below is a sneak peak of the plan. Here is Day 2: FREEDOM Through The Holy Spirit.
Without a relationship with Jesus, freedom from addiction is practically impossible. When you become a true follower of Christ, the Holy Spirit takes root inside of you and gives you the power to become who God created you to be and break free from addiction. The Holy Spirit connects us to God in the most intimate and powerful ways possible.
Looking for a speaker for your next youth event? Invite Joy Skarka Skarka to talk about pornography and purity with your youth group. Below is a video from a purity conference in Burleson, Texas. Joy spoke on freedom from pornography for teen girls.
Over a year later, I still experience daily pain all over my body. Physical pain has followed me around for months like baby ducks following their mama. Pain has left me asking theological questions: How can I suffer well? How can I not give up hope for healing? I want to believe that God will use this season for his good. I want to believe that he has not forgotten about me. I want to cope and find comfort in the Creator of the universe instead of his created things like food, movies, and aspirin. But what do we do when those things are the only things that bring us a few seconds of relief?
Maybe you aren’t suffering with physical pain, but I bet you’re suffering from something. Maybe you are grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe you’re struggling with depression. Maybe you feel stuck in addiction and chained to pornography. Maybe you are single and have sexual desires, and don’t know what to do with them. We all experience suffering.
I surveyed my friends on social media and asked them about suffering. I asked two questions: Do you suffer well? If so, how do you suffer well? The responses flooded into my inbox and comment section. Everyone is struggling. We must get out of isolation and share our pain with those around us. Their wisdom was so encouraging to me that I wanted to share it with you.
How do we suffer well? Let’s read their wise words:
Should pastors encourage people to look at porn to avoid shaming them?
“I’m not going to shame people when they already feel ashamed,” said a well known Lutheran pastor in an interview. She believes that consumption of pornography should not be shamed. I agree. We should never shame someone for viewing porn, but this doesn’t mean we should encourage it.
Shame is thinking something is wrong with the core of who we are. Shame creates a fear of unworthiness, specifically of the love of God and others. Without feeling worthy of that love, sometimes, we continue to live in our sexual sin. Trapped, we find that sexual shame hinders our ability to give and receive love and keeps us in a vicious cycle of sin and unworthiness. Shame lies to us, telling us that no one will ever love us.
If you struggle with watching porn, you are not shamed. But I can’t lie to you and tell you that watching porn will free you from shame.
Thankful to join Josh McDowell and Josh Proctor as we begin the conversation of freedom from pornography. If you are struggling with pornography, don’t remain in isolation. Contact me and together, let’s begin a journey towards healing.
As my now husband and I were dating, we felt shame for our sexual desires. We chose to avoid sex before marriage, but longed for “oneness.” No one told us this was normal, healthy even, and that God created us as sexual beings. The fact that we desired sex revealed that we were two healthy humans. Instead of praising God for our heathy bodies, we felt embarrassed for desiring something off limits.
Enter sexual shame into our relationship.
This was not the first time I experienced shame. I felt the need to hide my sexual desires as a young single woman. I felt shame after going too far with my high school boyfriend, and after my dad found a hickey on my neck, and after experiencing sexual abuse.
Many things can make us experience sexual shame. We feel sexual shame when… (more…)