What do you do when sex hurts? Do you white-knuckle your way through it, because you think you should? In this episode, hear why trying to push through the pain doesn’t work — nor is it what God wants for you. We’ll offer advice to help you find the right provider or therapist to help you understand and treat the reason for your pain. You’re not alone!
Guests: Dr. Carol Tanksley, OB-GYN and Joy Skarka
When I was s a fifth grader, my friend opened my laptop and introduced me to pornography. At the time, I didn’t know what pornography was, but I did know that it was something new and exciting. Years would go by before I rediscovered porn.
In college, after experiencing date rape (my first time having intercourse), I had many questions about sex. My curiosity led me to my reliable friend, Google. As I began typing in my questions about sex, I was intrigued. “So this is what sex is supposed to look like.” I truly believed that…
TW; mention of assault and trauma.
This past spring, I spent 30 nights alone in the hospital without my loving husband by my side. One night, as I laid in my hospital bed, I thought back on the decision I made to marry him. Little did I know how my decision three years ago would impact me today as I walked through this season of physical suffering.
Years ago, as I was trying to figure out if I should marry the man I was dating, I asked my counselor how to make this important decision. She responded, “Does he suffer well?” The question caught me off guard. After thinking about it, I replied, “Yes; he’s gone through cancer, found joy in the midst of pain, and continues to follow God.” That day I knew I was going to marry my now-husband, Zack.
In our marriage, we have experienced a lot of suffering. When we were first married, I worried about my husband’s cancer returning. Turns out, I’m the one who has struggled with sickness! Over the past three years, my body has experienced vaginismus (a condition involving involuntary muscle spasms in the pelvic floor muscles that can make sexual intercourse painful, difficult, or impossible), miscarrying our eight-week-old baby, frequent sinus headaches, and, most recently, achalasia: A rare disease that causes my esophagus to not function properly.
“I felt like God messed up when he created me, because I had so much sexual desire.” – @JoySkarka
STRUGGLING WITH SEXUAL SHAME? Ever feel like your sexual desires are too much or you (or God) to handle as a Jesus-loving gal? Find encouragement as Titania Paige and I discuss healing from sexual shame and healing from experiences of sexual trauma. By the end of our time together, you’ll have some practical guidance on seeking freedom and hope right where you presently are in your struggle.
In this episode, we talk: • Having strong sexual desires as a Christian woman. • Healing after an experience of sexual trauma. • Pitfalls to avoid in shifting from a mindset of shaming thoughts. Titania asks me: – How were you able to turn to God in the midst of your sexual trauma and shame? (6:15) – How did you go from wrestling with shame to speaking out to help others? (8:15) – How would you encourage us to break the power of shame and begin experiencing freedom? (9:34) – How do you encourage women to shift from a shameful mindset and thought-life? (15:15) – How did you heal from your experience of sexual trauma? (18:21) What were some pitfalls in your journey to healing from sexual shame and trauma? (23:47)
Many women have faced the terrible trauma of sexual abuse and rape. How can a woman heal and recover from such deep pain? In this episode, I share my personal story of sexual brokenness and how the grace of God intersected with my pain to bring lasting healing and freedom. Wherever you are in your journey, may my story bring you hope and courage.
Did you know that JP Ministries offers a free 6 day Bible reading plan on the YouVersion Bible app? (Click here to start the plan.) Attached below is a sneak peak of the plan. Here is Day 2: FREEDOM Through The Holy Spirit.
Without a relationship with Jesus, freedom from addiction is practically impossible. When you become a true follower of Christ, the Holy Spirit takes root inside of you and gives you the power to become who God created you to be and break free from addiction. The Holy Spirit connects us to God in the most intimate and powerful ways possible.
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Over a year later, I still experience daily pain all over my body. Physical pain has followed me around for months like baby ducks following their mama. Pain has left me asking theological questions: How can I suffer well? How can I not give up hope for healing? I want to believe that God will use this season for his good. I want to believe that he has not forgotten about me. I want to cope and find comfort in the Creator of the universe instead of his created things like food, movies, and aspirin. But what do we do when those things are the only things that bring us a few seconds of relief?
Maybe you aren’t suffering with physical pain, but I bet you’re suffering from something. Maybe you are grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe you’re struggling with depression. Maybe you feel stuck in addiction and chained to pornography. Maybe you are single and have sexual desires, and don’t know what to do with them. We all experience suffering.
I surveyed my friends on social media and asked them about suffering. I asked two questions: Do you suffer well? If so, how do you suffer well? The responses flooded into my inbox and comment section. Everyone is struggling. We must get out of isolation and share our pain with those around us. Their wisdom was so encouraging to me that I wanted to share it with you.
How do we suffer well? Let’s read their wise words:
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Today’s guest post shares a compelling testimony of a woman who struggled with anorexia and bulimia. She answers the question, “Can you really find freedom from anorexia And bulimia?” I love the power of our testimonies! I hope Katie’s story encourages you with the hope of Christ. (more…)
Experiencing sexual pain during intercourse? You are not alone. Nearly three out of four women have pain during intercourse at some time during their lives. For some women, the pain lasts only for a time; for twenty to fifty percent of these women, the pain remains over time.
My story includes sexual pain. I share my story FIRST to give women the gift of going SECOND. I share my story to bring women FREEDOM.
Check out my new article on Fathom Mag, “Having Painful Sex: Emotional healing from naïve expectations.”
With a past filled with sexual abuse, promiscuity, and an unhealthy sex education, I lacked a healthy view of sexuality. The biggest lie that I believed was that I was sexually broken.
My view of sex was far from the truth that God promises in His love letter. I had two distorted and conflicting views of sex:
