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Comments Off on 3 Reasons To Invite Women Into the Conversation About Sexual Brokenness
I opened my door and there she stood. She was nervous. I invited her inside my home, offered her a cup of coffee, and we sat down on my couch. I could see the hesitancy on her face as she fidgeted with her phone. I asked her to tell me a bit about her story.
My new friend was referred to me by another woman who had sat on my couch just last week and cried as she said I was the first person she had ever told about her porn addiction. Every woman who sits on my couch has different details in their stories––different traumas or different types of sexual brokenness, but each story and each face are filled with pain and questions.
Many women have faced the terrible trauma of sexual abuse and rape. How can a woman heal and recover from such deep pain? In this episode, I share my personal story of sexual brokenness and how the grace of God intersected with my pain to bring lasting healing and freedom. Wherever you are in your journey, may my story bring you hope and courage.
Since COVID-19 the pornography industry has seen a massive increase in website traffic. On March 24th, one major site announced that their premium content would be free to all visitors resulting in a massive increase of 18.5%. The site explained that watching free porn will encourage people to stay home and flatten the curve.
It’s no surprise that many will turn to porn in our current circumstance. I know because this used to be my story. In moments of pain, I turned to porn to escape my reality. Engaging with pornography appeared to be a quick fix for my negative emotions and feelings, but it was never fully satisfying. These negative emotions and feelings could include fear, anxiety, isolation, stress, and boredom, all of which are currently at an all-time high for many of us.
In our fear and anxiety surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic, we search for things to comfort us and make us feel safe. We watch the news and scroll through our Twitter feeds. We buy all the toilet paper and Clorox wipes off the shelves. We binge Netflix hoping that a little distraction and a quick feeling of pleasure will calm our nerves…
This book review of Gay Girl Good God: The Story of Who I Was, and Who God Has Always Been, by Jackie Hill Perry is written by Drey Clark. Drey serves as a student pastor at Champion Forest Baptist Church in Houston Texas and is currently working on his ThM at Dallas Theological Seminary. He also hosts the podcast “Good theological Thursday” with the goal to bring community and theology to the next generation.
In her book, Gay Girl Good God Jackie Hill Perry presents her personal story of becoming a Christian in light of her same sex attraction. As the subtitle notes, Jackie carefully walks through the story of who she is and who God has always been. Not only is this book a great resource for people who share a similar story, but it also offers several pastoral suggestions.
Looking for a speaker for your next youth event? Invite Joy Skarka Skarka to talk about pornography and purity with your youth group. Below is a video from a purity conference in Burleson, Texas. Joy spoke on freedom from pornography for teen girls.
Do you minster to women who are struggling with different types of crises and traumas? The book, Crisis Counseling, is a great resource to turn to again and again as different circumstances are brought up. I frequently use the counseling skills listed below in my current ministry to women struggling with sexual brokenness and in my future ministry with college students. All ten skills listed below have been taken and adapted from Crisis Counseling. You can buy the book here.
In this book Matt Chandler addresses topics of romance and sex. This book focuses on the marital process as a whole and gives tools to understand your partner and plan ahead for greater intimacy. (Buy on Amazon.)
Now You’re Speaking My Language
This book is specifically from a Christian worldview and is a useful guide to building a strong marriage that is based on intimacy. (Buy on Amazon.)
Should pastors encourage people to look at porn to avoid shaming them?
“I’m not going to shame people when they already feel ashamed,” said a well known Lutheran pastor in an interview. She believes that consumption of pornography should not be shamed. I agree. We should never shame someone for viewing porn, but this doesn’t mean we should encourage it.
Shame is thinking something is wrong with the core of who we are. Shame creates a fear of unworthiness, specifically of the love of God and others. Without feeling worthy of that love, sometimes, we continue to live in our sexual sin. Trapped, we find that sexual shame hinders our ability to give and receive love and keeps us in a vicious cycle of sin and unworthiness. Shame lies to us, telling us that no one will ever love us.
If you struggle with watching porn, you are not shamed. But I can’t lie to you and tell you that watching porn will free you from shame.
“When I was 21 years old, I wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye. And in it I argued that dating was a bad idea. And not just a bad idea, it was selfish. And only lead to heartbreak,” Josh says as he started his documentary. Josh thought he had all the answers to solve the problems he saw in romantic relationships.