Archive of ‘Your Story’ category

Purpose in Purity Podcast: Sexual Shame & Trauma | How to Heal

“I felt like God messed up when he created me, because I had so much sexual desire.” – @JoySkarka

STRUGGLING WITH SEXUAL SHAME? Ever feel like your sexual desires are too much or you (or God) to handle as a Jesus-loving gal? Find encouragement as Titania Paige and I discuss healing from sexual shame and healing from experiences of sexual trauma. By the end of our time together, you’ll have some practical guidance on seeking freedom and hope right where you presently are in your struggle.

In this episode, we talk: • Having strong sexual desires as a Christian woman. • Healing after an experience of sexual trauma. • Pitfalls to avoid in shifting from a mindset of shaming thoughts. Titania asks me: – How were you able to turn to God in the midst of your sexual trauma and shame? (6:15​) – How did you go from wrestling with shame to speaking out to help others? (8:15​) – How would you encourage us to break the power of shame and begin experiencing freedom? (9:34​) – How do you encourage women to shift from a shameful mindset and thought-life? (15:15​) – How did you heal from your experience of sexual trauma? (18:21​) What were some pitfalls in your journey to healing from sexual shame and trauma? (23:47​)

Spice Up Your Sex Life During Quarantine

Are you feeling stuck in your home and in your sex life? Think back to the last time you left your house: It could possibly have been four or five weeks! And most likely it has been even longer since you and your spouse went out for a date night. 

When my husband and I were newlyweds, we committed to weekly date nights. Every Thursday night we spent time together—sometimes we dressed up and went to dinner, or we went for a walk and got street tacos. Other nights we stayed home and ordered Thai takeout and played board games. As seasons change, it becomes easier to deprioritize date nights. It starts off with missing once or twice a month, and suddenly you’re thinking, “When was the last time we went on a date?” Right now, you may be spending a lot of time together at home, but being in the same physical space doesn’t mean you are working on your relationship; lack of intentional time together impacts both your emotional and physical intimacy…

Pornography and Sexual Shame (Part 2)

Pornography is a growing epidemic. 1 out of 3 visitors to adult sites are women. Joy will talk about the problems of pornography, how it impacts us, our society, and our relationships, and then provide practical ways to begin walking in freedom.

Thank you Northwest Bible Church Recovery Ministry for having me! Here is their website for more info: https://www.northwestbible.org

Women Struggle Too, From Pornography to Freedom (Part 1)

Testimony: From Pornography Addiction to Redemption God uses our pain and our past to help others. Joy Skarka Skarka has struggled with promiscuity, pornography, masturbation, and sexual shame. She will share her story, and talk about the freedom we have in Christ.

Thank you Northwest Bible Church Recovery Ministry for having me! Here is their website for more info: https://www.northwestbible.org

How to Suffer Well: Joy through the Pain

Over a year later, I still experience daily pain all over my body. Physical pain has followed me around for months like baby ducks following their mama. Pain has left me asking theological questions: How can I suffer well? How can I not give up hope for healing? I want to believe that God will use this season for his good. I want to believe that he has not forgotten about me. I want to cope and find comfort in the Creator of the universe instead of his created things like food, movies, and aspirin. But what do we do when those things are the only things that bring us a few seconds of relief?

Maybe you aren’t suffering with physical pain, but I bet you’re suffering from something. Maybe you are grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe you’re struggling with depression. Maybe you feel stuck in addiction and chained to pornography. Maybe you are single and have sexual desires, and don’t know what to do with them. We all experience suffering. 

I surveyed my friends on social media and asked them about suffering. I asked two questions: Do you suffer well? If so, how do you suffer well? The responses flooded into my inbox and comment section. Everyone is struggling. We must get out of isolation and share our pain with those around us. Their wisdom was so encouraging to me that I wanted to share it with you. 

How do we suffer well? Let’s read their wise words:

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Rape Culture Blog Series

19 Part Series on Rape Culture on Aspire2.com

Dr. Sandra Glahn invited me to write this 19 part series on rape culture for her blog, Aspire2.com. All 19 parts to the series are listed below. By the end of this series, I hope that you will be able to see examples of rape culture in your daily life, understand that these cultural narratives dominate media, and take steps to help change these dynamics.

Every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. Women and girls experience sexual violence at higher rates than men and boys. Eighty-two percent of all juvenile victims are female, and ninety percent of adult rape victims are female. Sexual assault affects everyone around us, yet most of the perpetrators walk away. Out of 1,000 rapes, 995 perpetrators will not go to jail. Because of this fact and many other reasons which this series will cover, many people do not report crimes to the police. Only 230 out of every 1,000 sexual assaults are even reported to authorities. That means about three out of four go unreported.*

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5 Ways Parents and the Church Can Help Teens Live Pure Lives

5 Ways Parents and the Church Can Help Teens Live Pure Lives

Pornography and masturbation—two words we almost never hear from parents or the church, yet teens are asking questions about them. Children begin watching pornography at younger and younger ages, possibly around four or five years old. Porn becomes a child’s sex education. To help teens live pure lives, we must intentionally invest in their lives and talk about sexuality.

5 Ways Parents and the Church Can Help Teens Live Pure Lives:

1. Have open and honest conversations

One youth pastor shared, “When asking our youth whether their parents ever talked about sex, not one raised their hand.” Parents barely talk about sex past the one time “sex talk.” Talking about purity should be a continual conversation, not a one time talk.

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#MeToo Podcast with Dallas Theological Seminary

In this episode of the Table Podcast at Dallas Theological Seminary, Dr. Darrell L. Bock, Jurrita Williams, Jan Edgar Langbein, and I, Joy Skarka, discuss sexual abuse and the #MeToo movement. This is only the beginning of a conversation that needs to continue to our churches. 

When this was filmed I had a sinus infection and double ear infections. Praise God for speaking through me despite the physical barriers!

Only God would know that this video, which we filmed months ago, would be needed for such a time as this. 

How to Stay Married for 50 Years

How to Stay Married for 50 Years

 Unsurprisingly, many marriages end in divorce. When we hear about a couple that has been married for fifty years, we are shocked. What if this changed? What if divorce surprised us? What if being married fifty years was the norm?

Meet Dale and Carol. Dale and Carol recently celebrated fifty years of marriage. Send them some congratulations in the comments below! (more…)

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