3 Things I (Wish I Hadn’t) Learned From Pornography

/ Healing, Relationship with Jesus, Sexual Addiction / Comments Off

When I was s a fifth grader, my friend opened my laptop and introduced me to pornography. At the time, I didn’t know what pornography was, but I did know that it was something new and exciting. Years would go by before I rediscovered porn.

In college, after experiencing date rape (my first time having intercourse), I had many questions about sex. My curiosity led me to my reliable friend, Google. As I began typing in my questions about sex, I was intrigued. “So this is what sex is supposed to look like.” I truly believed that…

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How to Suffer Well Through Sickness | Blog on Authentic Intimacy

/ Healing, Relationship with Jesus, Surrender Life to Jesus / Comments Off

TW; mention of assault and trauma.

This past spring, I spent 30 nights alone in the hospital without my loving husband by my side. One night, as I laid in my hospital bed, I thought back on the decision I made to marry him. Little did I know how my decision three years ago would impact me today as I walked through this season of physical suffering.

Years ago, as I was trying to figure out if I should marry the man I was dating, I asked my counselor how to make this important decision. She responded, “Does he suffer well?” The question caught me off guard. After thinking about it, I replied, “Yes; he’s gone through cancer, found joy in the midst of pain, and continues to follow God.” That day I knew I was going to marry my now-husband, Zack.

In our marriage, we have experienced a lot of suffering. When we were first married, I worried about my husband’s cancer returning. Turns out, I’m the one who has struggled with sickness! Over the past three years, my body has experienced vaginismus (a condition involving involuntary muscle spasms in the pelvic floor muscles that can make sexual intercourse painful, difficult, or impossible), miscarrying our eight-week-old baby, frequent sinus headaches, and, most recently, achalasia: A rare disease that causes my esophagus to not function properly.

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Jesus Loves Porn Addicts

/ Freedom From Sexual Sin & Shame, Pornography, Relationship with Jesus, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Addiction / 8 Comments

Jesus loves people who watch porn. Jesus even loves porn stars. Yes, Jesus loves both of these groups of people. No matter what, His love for them will never change. Why is this? Because Jesus came to save the broken, the lost, and the hurting.

While on earth, Jesus spent most of His time with lost, broken people. In Matthew 9:12-13, Jesus states, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Spiritually healthy people don’t understand that they are sick, sinful, and in need of a Savior. But the sick, they line up outside of the doctor’s office hoping for something to heal the pain. Do you realize that you are sick and in need of a savior? Maybe you are immune to the hurting in your heart. Maybe you think these feelings are normal. Maybe you actually think you are spiritually healthy. (more…)

Instant Intimacy: When one click, swipe or like isn’t enough.

/ Devotional, Love, Relationship with Jesus, Singleness, Surrender Life to Jesus / 2 Comments

Desiring to feel loved and beautiful, I downloaded Tinder and uploaded my cutest selfie. Sick of being single and waiting on God’s perfect timing, I wanted to take things into my own hands. I wanted control over my dating life.

Impatient and not trusting God, I began the quest for a man. Swiping right if I found him attractive and left if he was too creepy, I was making every decision based on looks. During this season in college, I was a believer and truly loved God, but I lacked intimacy with Him.
Instead of growing in intimacy with God, I wanted instant intimacy.

I believed that instant intimacy was only found in the love of a man, so in that moment, when he swiped right too and we were a match, I felt desired. This feeling didn’t last. Instead of believing what God says is true about me, I believed I was unloved and ugly. Yet, I kept on swiping and searching for intimacy.

Have you ever sought out intimacy, yet remained unsatisfied? (more…)

Not Even a Ring Can Fully Satisfy

/ Christian Dating, Love, Relationship with Jesus / 6 Comments

I recently got engaged to a godly Christian man. Let me share with you our proposal story. Zack and I were back at his apartment after a night of two-stepping. That morning I had landed in Dallas after being away for a few weeks. When I got home from the airport Zack had given me roses and showed me a puzzle that he completed as a surprise.

Zack knows I love puzzles. In fact, growing up my Dad called me the Puzzle Queen. Months before Zack proposed, Zack had ordered this personalized puzzle online and completed the whole puzzle by himself (a big task for a non puzzle queen). After finishing it, he flipped it over and wrote a secret message that I wouldn’t see for months. (more…)

When You Can’t Imagine a Life Without Pain

/ Devotional, Grace, Healing, How to Know God Personally, Prayer, Relationship with Jesus / 2 Comments

We can’t imagine a life without sin, pain, shame, death, loss, grief, tears, etc. The list can go on and on. Our only experience with life is living in a sin cursed world. We’ve never known a life without these things, yet God promises that one day we can experience a new life if we trust in Jesus.

As the news unfolds of tragedy after tragedy, how do we believers hold on to this promise? (more…)

8 Truths to Know When You’re Tempted to Sin

/ Bible Study, Devotional, Freedom From Sexual Sin & Shame, Healing, Pornography, Relationship with Jesus, Sexual Addiction / Comments Off

The moment of temptation right before you sin happens in a matter of seconds. The enemy wants you to sin. He wants victory over your life. The good news is that God has promised us that no temptation is too big or too strong for us to conquer. In this post, I hope to provide practical tips and encouragement through Scripture to help you become more like Jesus, fight temptation, and experience freedom. (more…)

Why Jesus Is More Satisfying than Dating

/ Christian Dating, How to Know God Personally, Love, Relationship with Jesus, Singleness & Dating / Comments Off

As a 15 year old girl, I thought I loved him. He was the first boy I held hands with, my first kiss and my first boyfriend. As a high school girl, I dreamed of being together forever. Every night we would talk on the phone for hours, giggling about our days and never running out of things to talk about. He knew more about me than anyone else at that time, even to the point of being able to read my mind.

I was naive, but I was in love.

(more…)

This Father’s Day, Get to Know Your Heavenly Father

/ Devotional, Healing, Love, Relationship with Jesus, The Journey / 1 Comment

Our view and relationship with our earthly dad is reflected in our view and relationship with our heavenly Dad. For this reason, I believe it is incredibly important to turn to scripture and learn about our heavenly Father this Father’s Day. If you don’t have a great relationship with your earthly dad, I pray that today you would spend extra time getting to known your heavenly Dad. One way to do this is to begin understanding the names of God, which will help us understand His character. (more…)

Sexual Addiction and Freedom – The Power of the Holy Spirit

/ Devotional, Freedom From Sexual Sin & Shame, Healing, Pornography, Relationship with Jesus, Sexual Addiction / 1 Comment

Freedom. We want it, we crave it, yet we think it’s impossible to have.

Even as believers, there are a lot of us living in chains. Slaves to our desires. Slaves to our sin. We have heard of the concept of freedom, but we have never experienced it for ourselves.

Most days we think we can earn this freedom. Maybe if we pray more, do more, or work more, then we will experience freedom, but eventually we run out of steam. (more…)

Archive of ‘Relationship with Jesus’ category

As the news unfolds of tragedy after tragedy, how do we believers hold on to this promise? (more…)

I was naive, but I was in love.