Testimony: From Pornography Addiction to Redemption God uses our pain and our past to help others. Joy Skarka Skarka has struggled with promiscuity, pornography, masturbation, and sexual shame. She will share her story, and talk about the freedom we have in Christ.
Thank you Northwest Bible Church Recovery Ministry for having me! Here is their website for more info: https://www.northwestbible.org
As my now husband and I were dating, we felt shame for our sexual desires. We chose to avoid sex before marriage, but longed for “oneness.” No one told us this was normal, healthy even, and that God created us as sexual beings. The fact that we desired sex revealed that we were two healthy humans. Instead of praising God for our heathy bodies, we felt embarrassed for desiring something off limits.
Enter sexual shame into our relationship.
This was not the first time I experienced shame. I felt the need to hide my sexual desires as a young single woman. I felt shame after going too far with my high school boyfriend, and after my dad found a hickey on my neck, and after experiencing sexual abuse.
Many things can make us experience sexual shame. We feel sexual shame when… (more…)
With a past filled with sexual abuse, promiscuity, and an unhealthy sex education, I lacked a healthy view of sexuality. The biggest lie that I believed was that I was sexually broken.
My view of sex was far from the truth that God promises in His love letter. I had two distorted and conflicting views of sex:
Five years ago I thought I would never heal from the rape I experienced my freshman year of college. My nights were filled with tears and my days were filled with doubts. Why did this happen? Does God allow rape? (Check out the answer to this question on Bible.com.)
With countless unanswered questions and tears in my eyes, I surrendered my life to Jesus. I still doubted that he could heal me, but I believed I needed a Savior. On my own, I would never find healing. My heart was a wreck and I needed Jesus to give me a new one.
Maybe you, just like me, often wonder, is healing even possible? How do I find healing? Could Jesus really heal me from the pain of sexual abuse? Let me share one important truth with you… (more…)
As a victim of rape, I thought the rape was my fault. I did not fully understand that I was experiencing the result of sin until years later. No matter the reason for the rape, it still wounded me deeply. Because of my hurt and pain, I often wondered why God would allow His children to suffer.
During the months following my abuse, God felt closer than ever before. He never moved. When I cried out in agony, He was by my side. When I prayed with tears streaming down my cheeks, He was there. When I begged Him to take away the pain, He held my hand.
He was there.
Right beside me, holding my hand, and helping me find healing. He was there and He knew this would happen…
Click to read my whole guest post on Bible.org.
Do you believe that your story is powerful?
Maybe you were saved at a young age and you fear your story isn’t as powerful as others. Or maybe just like me, you struggle believing that God could use your broken past for his good. I want to share with you that no matter your story, it’s powerful.
My story began in college when Christ softened my heart through a horrible experience. God had been pursuing me all my life, but it wasn’t until college that I finally realized my need for a Savior.
During my freshman year of college, on day three, I was date raped. I became depressed, I lived in shame, and I hated my life. But God pursued me. God used rape to bring me to my knees and allow me to see my need for a Savior. That year I was beginning to experience a love that I had never felt. My freshman year of college I became a follower of Christ, but it would take years for me to start sharing my story with other women.
At the end of this post, I will share with you one example of how God used my story in a powerful way. For now, I want to dive into a passage that talks about how our stories are powerful. (more…)
“Joy, you are so vulnerable and so brave. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I could never be as bold as you to freely talk about these issues.” – Women’s Minister
That was the response I got from a women’s minister as I talked about the growing epidemic of porn addiction for women. Throughout my talk I shared how in 5th grade a friend first introduced me to porn, opening doors of curiosity inside my 11 year old brain. Next, I shared my story of date rape, which led me to turn back to porn out of more curiosity about sex.
In my talk, I was authentic, vulnerable, and bold – characteristics missing from many women’s ministries. If we as women’s ministers are not authentic, vulnerable, and bold, then neither will our women be authentic, vulnerable, and bold. As a millennial, I look for those characteristics in a church and a women’s ministry. Are you afraid of being vulnerable, authentic, and bold with the women you are ministering to? (more…)
I’ve been there. I was a college freshman who was lost searching for what would give me an identity. What would give me hope. What would make me feel loved. As a college student, one desires to fit in and find her place and to meet a guy.
At least, that is what I wanted. (more…)
I’ll never forget how I felt the first time I looked into the mirror after being date raped. I stood there naked, alone and ashamed. I began to question God and his love for me. (more…)
As a woman who has been sexually abused, I’m thankful for men like Sam Eaton. Men that proclaim the message that we are not forgotten, not damaged and loved more than we can comprehend.
If this post touched your heart, make sure to send him a Tweet or Facebook message and thank him for his guest post. JP Ministries loves you Sam!
Love, Joy
I was insecure and made a lot of stupid jokes. It was a cold Iowa winter’s night, the type of night where normal people hibernate indoors. Not us. We were young and invincible as we made our way back from the sketchiest of bars. All you could see in the 2am sky was the cloud of smoke rising from the warm breath of our huddled, slightly intoxicated pack.
The group went their separate ways as I hung in the hallway with a girl I was proud to call my friend. As we stood chatting, somehow as a drunk guy and girl passed us in the hallway, an inexcusable joke escaped from my lips; a joke about rape. (more…)