What do you do when sex hurts? Do you white-knuckle your way through it, because you think you should? In this episode, hear why trying to push through the pain doesn’t work — nor is it what God wants for you. We’ll offer advice to help you find the right provider or therapist to help you understand and treat the reason for your pain. You’re not alone!
Guests: Dr. Carol Tanksley, OB-GYN and Joy Skarka
Are you feeling stuck in your home and in your sex life? Think back to the last time you left your house: It could possibly have been four or five weeks! And most likely it has been even longer since you and your spouse went out for a date night.
When my husband and I were newlyweds, we committed to weekly date nights. Every Thursday night we spent time together—sometimes we dressed up and went to dinner, or we went for a walk and got street tacos. Other nights we stayed home and ordered Thai takeout and played board games. As seasons change, it becomes easier to deprioritize date nights. It starts off with missing once or twice a month, and suddenly you’re thinking, “When was the last time we went on a date?” Right now, you may be spending a lot of time together at home, but being in the same physical space doesn’t mean you are working on your relationship; lack of intentional time together impacts both your emotional and physical intimacy…
Best Books for Intimacy in Marriage
In this book Matt Chandler addresses topics of romance and sex. This book focuses on the marital process as a whole and gives tools to understand your partner and plan ahead for greater intimacy. (Buy on Amazon.)
This book is specifically from a Christian worldview and is a useful guide to building a strong marriage that is based on intimacy. (Buy on Amazon.)
Thousands of online forums overflow with people asking if they should date and marry cancer survivors. Misconceptions and social stigma force people to reject cancer survivors as possible spouses. My husband Zack shared with me that during his junior year of college, girls would express interest in dating him, but when they found out he previously had cancer, that interest evaporated. Imagine living through a life-threatening illness to then have your heart broken because of the memory of it. But I’m glad. My gain.
These kinds of studies point out an interesting fact about how our culture defines marriage. We place marriage in the category labeled “self-fulfillment.” The question we should ask ourselves is do we believe that God created marriage for our personal gain? If so, then yes, you should bolt from any cancer survivors.
Unsurprisingly, many marriages end in divorce. When we hear about a couple that has been married for fifty years, we are shocked. What if this changed? What if divorce surprised us? What if being married fifty years was the norm?
Meet Dale and Carol. Dale and Carol recently celebrated fifty years of marriage. Send them some congratulations in the comments below! (more…)
On May 27, 2017, I married my husband, Zack Skarka. I knew he had survived cancer, but I had no doubts in my decision to marry him. Check out my story on the Boundless Blog about trusting God with our fears. Love, Joy
“Run. Bolt before he dies and leaves you heartbroken.” That’s what a friend said when I told her about the cancer-surviving man I had met in the elevator.
Just days before this conversation, this man and I had become Facebook friends. While scrolling through his profile pictures, I paused — I saw a white sash draped over his shoulder. Not any white sash, but one that read “survivor.” That cute boy I met in the elevator had survived cancer.
Maybe I should run now while I have the chance. (more…)
Experiencing sexual pain during intercourse? You are not alone. Nearly three out of four women have pain during intercourse at some time during their lives. For some women, the pain lasts only for a time; for twenty to fifty percent of these women, the pain remains over time.
My story includes sexual pain. I share my story FIRST to give women the gift of going SECOND. I share my story to bring women FREEDOM.
Check out my new article on Fathom Mag, “Having Painful Sex: Emotional healing from naïve expectations.”
With tears in her eyes, hesitating to ask, she whispered, “Will my future husband still love and forgive me?” My new friend had a fear common to women who have found freedom from sexual sin. Jesus freed her from the chains of pornography, but currently she was gripped by the chains of fear. Have you had this fear or other fears about your future spouse and marriage because of your sexual past? (more…)
If you’ve wondered where I’ve been these last few months, I was planning a wedding and marrying this godly man! Now, I’m trying to figure out how to manage work, blogging, seminary, friends and family. My heart continues to desire for women to find freedom in Christ, thus the blog will continue.
My dear blogging friends, I wanted to share with you two videos. The first video is our personal testimonies and our love story and the second is from our wedding. Enjoy!