5 Ways Parents and the Church Can Help Teens Live Pure Lives
Pornography and masturbation—two words we almost never hear from parents or the church, yet teens are asking questions about them. Children begin watching pornography at younger and younger ages, possibly around four or five years old. Porn becomes a child’s sex education. To help teens live pure lives, we must intentionally invest in their lives and talk about sexuality.
5 Ways Parents and the Church Can Help Teens Live Pure Lives:
1. Have open and honest conversations
One youth pastor shared, “When asking our youth whether their parents ever talked about sex, not one raised their hand.” Parents barely talk about sex past the one time “sex talk.” Talking about purity should be a continual conversation, not a one time talk.
Riding the elevator up to our hotel room the night of my wedding was the most exciting elevator ride of my life. God had redeemed my sexually broken past and that night I believed he would bless our new marriage. (more…)
How far can my boyfriend and I go physically before it becomes a sin?
Christians ask this question all the time, so if you are asking this, you are not alone. You are normal and your desires are normal. Being physically attracted to your significant other is a good thing. If you weren’t physically attracted, I would recommend you break up. Our challenge then becomes, what do we do with these desires?
Our churches are filled with conflicting beliefs. Some Christians believe kissing is okay. Others argue you shouldn’t kiss until your wedding day. Some Christians think that everything but vaginal sex is okay. Others argue that sex includes more than vaginal sex. What do we do with these contradictions?
In this post, I will answer ‘How Far is Too Far,’ share some personal stories, and provide some practical tips to live out purity in dating. (more…)
In the midst of the guilt, shame and pain of sexual sins, painful thoughts fill my mind, “I can’t believe I sinned… again. Does God hate me for my addictions? Will I ever find freedom?”
If you are struggling with sexual sin today, I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve spent a lot of time talking about finding freedom from sexual sin and the importance of fighting for purity on the blog, but I haven’t spent enough time talking about grace.
To help you better understand grace, here are a few definitions.
Grace is the beauty of following Christ.
Grace is unmerited favor.
Grace is God loving us when we don’t deserve it.
Grace is God’s riches at Christ’s expense.
Grace is the divine means by which God makes Himself everything we need.
When we mess up, God gives us grace. When we feel shameful and defeated, God gives us grace. When we hide from Him, God gives us grace.
Just like Adam and Eve who hid behind fig leaves after they sinned, we run, hide, and build our own fig leaves. What fig leaves are you hiding behind? (more…)
In four months I can freely have sex with my husband whenever we want, but for now, we can’t. We’re engaged and waiting. Deciding to honor God in purity, my fiancé and I are refraining from experiencing sexual intimacy. This isn’t easy. In fact, waiting is hard.
We’ve messed up and have pushed the boundaries further than we’ve wanted to, but we still have yet to have sex. And each time we realize we are pushing the line, we re-evaluate. We re-check our physical boundaries. We re-ask each other this question:
Why are we fighting for purity?
If we don’t know why we are fighting, we will stop fighting. If we don’t see the value of purity, we will never guard it. (What does the Bible say about purity?) Beth Moore explains this perfectly in her new study, Entrusted, “We won’t effectively guard what we don’t highly esteem.”
Do you have high esteem for purity? Do you want to live a life marked by obedience to God? (more…)
Doesn’t my body know that I started to follow Jesus my freshman year of college? Yet, why does it constantly not follow Jesus? My mind. My heart. My body. All connected, and yet all do their own thing. Christian dating is hard. Setting physical boundaries is hard. You can only read so many devotionals, Christian blogs and Bible verses on purity before you begin to wonder, what am I doing wrong? Why is none of this controlling my body?
What do you do if you’ve set physical boundaries and you’re pursuing purity in dating, yet your body is doing its own thing?
Allow me to share my story, one of the many stories where my body acts differently from my heart and mind. Through my story and through Scripture, let’s learn together what to do when our bodies don’t know we are Christians. (more…)
My time in college was nothing like what I planned. I entered college thinking I was a Christian. I believed in God, but I didn’t know Him. I didn’t know His heart, His character or that He was the only one who could satisfy the longing in my heart to be loved.
Instead, I thought that hole in my heart could only be filled by a guy. (more…)
Have you ever experienced the back and forth change of setting physical boundaries in a dating relationship?
Maybe we should stop kissing for a while. It’s just too tempting to want to go further. Or let’s only kiss while standing. No kissing on the couch or leaning against the wall… well, anything is fine as long as we aren’t in a bed. Okay, it is settled — we can kiss anywhere, but not in your bed.
Days later… never mind, we shouldn’t kiss at all…just cuddling.
But cuddling is making it tempting to kiss you. So what if we kiss, but short kisses. Standing only. What if we just stop hanging out after a certain time? Let’s make a curfew. That will work.
Welcome to the world of Christian dating — desiring to honor God and live a life of purity, but constantly fighting against the flesh.
Meet Brenda Rodgers – a recovering single who wrote the eBook Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single and blogs at Triple Braided Life. Brenda was single for longer than she expected, and it was the hardest time in her life. During those years she could not reconcile why God gave her the intense desire to be a wife and mother and yet those desires were not being fulfilled.
Now, her mission is to mentor young women for purposeful lives of faith. She writes about her personal relationship with Jesus, singleness, community, relationships, mentoring, and raising daughters. Today, Brenda hopes to share with you wisdom she learned from her years as a single woman with the hope that you will be well equipped to lead a life of peace and purpose.
Time for the Q&A!
Did you struggle with purity while you were single? If so, did it affect your marriage?
Earlier this summer, I wrote a post 5 Action Steps to Guard Your Heart from Impurity. Each action step looked at the story of Joseph found in Genesis 39:7-12 and explained how to pursue purity. We know that it is easier to give into temptation than to fight against our desires, but Joseph showed us that it is possible to live a life of purity. In this post, we will learn how to bring God glory as we fight for purity. Then I will share additional scripture verses that explain God’s view on purity. I encourage you to pull out your Bible and read these passages as you hold God’s word in your hand. (more…)