Posts Tagged ‘porn’

Free Webinar Recording

Hi!

Click here to receive the link to watch the webinar recording: Understanding a Women’s Struggle with Pornography & the Impact of Shame, An Introduction

During this 24-minute pre-recorded webinar, you will learn:

  • The Scope of the Problem
  • Why Do Women Watch Porn?
  • The Impact of Shame

I hope you find this educational and helpful on your freedom journey!

Watch the FREE webinar recording!

-Joy

Covenant Eyes Blog: Porn Is Not Your Biggest Problem

*This post contains mention of sexual assault.

I spent many college nights scrolling through porn on my phone. Image after image flickered across my screen, but they always left me longing for more. One image or video was never enough to erase my loneliness or cure my sexual desire. Just like a drug addict, one hit never felt like it was enough. 

Back then, I thought porn was my biggest problem. Turns out, this wasn’t true. It was a problem in my life, but it was a symptom of a larger issue. Porn was my way to cope with and numb the pain and loneliness I felt every day. This is also true for those who struggle with other unwanted sexual behaviors like habitual masturbation, reading erotica, or lusting. 

As a freshman in college, I was date raped on my third day on campus. After going through this trauma, I questioned everything about God, myself, and my sexuality. 

“Was God there when it happened?”

“Was God mad at me?”

“Was it my fault?”

“Is that what sex is supposed to look like?”

Porn became my everything. It was my punching bag that I turned to when I was angry at my abuser—my therapist when I felt empty inside. And porn was my sex educator when I questioned if what had happened to me was “normal” sex. But even though porn became my everything, over time I began to realize it wasn’t my biggest problem. 

Porn, Dating And The Gospel

Porn is a sensitive subject in the context of dating, but it’s something we can’t ignore. Sin retains its power when it stays a secret. It loses it in the light of the gospel.

That’s why I’m excited to share a conversation I had with Dating at a Distance about pornography and dating.

In the blog, I will share my story about finding freedom from sexual brokenness, as well as:

New Podcast: Changing the Way We Talk About Porn (Because Women Struggle Too)

“I had one woman say, ‘I struggle with masturbation.’ And she just started crying.  And then she said, ‘I’ve never said that word out loud.’”

In this Java with Juli, Joy Skarka recalls her experiences walking with women who struggle with porn, and shares from her own story of addiction to freedom. Despite rising numbers of women using porn and erotica, we still tend to refer to it as a “guy thing.” Juli, Joy, and Jonathan Daugherty sit down for a conversation about creating safe places for women to come forward and ask for help. Grab your Java and join us!

Do Rom Coms and TikToks Trigger Porn Use?

Try to name three recent movies that did not have a romance story in the plot. Could you do it? I couldn’t. The media feeds us the lie that we need a man to complete us. During seasons of isolation, watching rom coms do not help with our loneliness and actually, can cause us to watch more pornography.

When I was a college student, I struggled with pornography and loneliness in singleness. I can imagine those struggles would be harder for present-day college students to walk through because of the isolation in online classes, remote learning, and working from home. It’s exhausting and triggering. 

As a sophomore, I broke up with my boyfriend and felt extremely lonely. I spent my nights binge-watching Netflix, looking at porn and habitually masturbating, and my days eating ice cream on the couch. None of my coping mechanisms helped with my negative thoughts and feelings. Fed up with my life, I decided to try giving up romantic comedies for a whole month. I quickly learned that not only romantic comedies, but most movies and TV shows, had a romance plotline. And almost all of those plots included sex scenes. 

3 Things Women Want You To Know About Their Addiction to Pornography

As someone who serves in ministry with my own history of struggling with pornography, women often pour out their stories to me with a sigh of relief. While sitting on my living room couch, Jessica shared her struggle with porn:

I was exposed to pornography as a first grader by a childhood friend. I had no idea the lasting effects it would have on me as I got older. While I didn’t understand what it was or why it was bad, I innately felt that it was wrong—that alone filled me with shame. Shame followed me through my life until, for the first time, I heard another woman share that she struggled with it too. That defeated the biggest lie I was believed: that I was in this alone.

There are many women in your church who have similar stories to Jessica. Some may sit next to you on a Sunday and others may be leading Bible studies—they all worry that someone will find out about their secret. I’ve had women from across the spectrum confess their struggle to me, from new believing college students to experienced church leaders. Sadly, the influence of porn in the church is almost as dominant as it is in the world.

Porn Was My Sex Education: Joy Skarka’s Story, Guest Blog on Covenant Eyes

I first saw porn in fifth grade. I remember the day like it was yesterday. My friend and I just got back from basketball camp and went up to my room to play. I had a small Dell laptop sitting on my desk and my friend said, “Let me show you something.” She pulled up images and at the time, I had no idea this was porn. I had never heard of pornography before. But in the moment, I felt weird. 

I felt like we shouldn’t be looking at this. I remember making sure my bedroom door was shut so my parents wouldn’t know what we were doing. After this incident, I wouldn’t look at porn again until college, but I believe it awakened a part of my sexuality. 

“Just don’t do it.”

Growing up, I went to church, but my memories of conversations about sex in a church setting are very minimal. As a middle schooler, my parents sent me to a weekend conference where I sat in a circle with other students and we repeated the words “penis” and “vagina.” Parents were encouraged to sit in on the groups and I remember my dad standing up and saying, “I can’t do this,” as he walked away.

Purpose in Purity Podcast: Sexual Shame & Trauma | How to Heal

“I felt like God messed up when he created me, because I had so much sexual desire.” – @JoySkarka

STRUGGLING WITH SEXUAL SHAME? Ever feel like your sexual desires are too much or you (or God) to handle as a Jesus-loving gal? Find encouragement as Titania Paige and I discuss healing from sexual shame and healing from experiences of sexual trauma. By the end of our time together, you’ll have some practical guidance on seeking freedom and hope right where you presently are in your struggle.

In this episode, we talk: • Having strong sexual desires as a Christian woman. • Healing after an experience of sexual trauma. • Pitfalls to avoid in shifting from a mindset of shaming thoughts. Titania asks me: – How were you able to turn to God in the midst of your sexual trauma and shame? (6:15​) – How did you go from wrestling with shame to speaking out to help others? (8:15​) – How would you encourage us to break the power of shame and begin experiencing freedom? (9:34​) – How do you encourage women to shift from a shameful mindset and thought-life? (15:15​) – How did you heal from your experience of sexual trauma? (18:21​) What were some pitfalls in your journey to healing from sexual shame and trauma? (23:47​)

Women Struggle Too, From Pornography to Freedom (Part 1)

Testimony: From Pornography Addiction to Redemption God uses our pain and our past to help others. Joy Skarka Skarka has struggled with promiscuity, pornography, masturbation, and sexual shame. She will share her story, and talk about the freedom we have in Christ.

Thank you Northwest Bible Church Recovery Ministry for having me! Here is their website for more info: https://www.northwestbible.org

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