Dr. Sandra Glahn invited me to write this 19 part series on rape culture for her blog, Aspire2.com. All 19 parts to the series are listed below. By the end of this series, I hope that you will be able to see examples of rape culture in your daily life, understand that these cultural narratives dominate media, and take steps to help change these dynamics.
Every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. Women and girls experience sexual violence at higher rates than men and boys. Eighty-two percent of all juvenile victims are female, and ninety percent of adult rape victims are female. Sexual assault affects everyone around us, yet most of the perpetrators walk away. Out of 1,000 rapes, 995 perpetrators will not go to jail. Because of this fact and many other reasons which this series will cover, many people do not report crimes to the police. Only 230 out of every 1,000 sexual assaults are even reported to authorities. That means about three out of four go unreported.*
Do you minster to women who are struggling with different types of crises and traumas? The book, Crisis Counseling, is a great resource to turn to again and again as different circumstances are brought up. I frequently use the counseling skills listed below in my current ministry to women struggling with sexual brokenness and in my future ministry with college students. All ten skills listed below have been taken and adapted from Crisis Counseling. You can buy the book here.
How many sermons have you heard on singleness and sexuality? Sadly, many churches fail to cover these topics in messages. Our singles are believing the lie that something is wrong with them for having sexual desires and curiosities. Can we free these women from shame and share the message that God created them as sexual beings? We need to talk about singleness and sexuality because our single members are asking questions like, “What do we do with our sexual desires?” If we don’t provide these answers, pornography could become their solution.
When the church views marriage as the ultimate goal, we are hurting everyone. We hurt the singles now and we hurt them again if they get married because they are entering marriage thinking that marriage is the solution. The real and lasting solution is Jesus. Yes, I’m married. And yes, I still have all the same issues I had when I was single. Marriage didn’t fix me. Marriage didn’t heal my addiction to masturbation and pornography, Jesus did. Marriage is not our highest calling, but rather following Jesus is our highest calling.
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Misconceptions About Domestic Violence
There is no denying that domestic violence is a subject that is difficult for people to talk about. However, it is important that we do speak about it, because it is more common than a lot of people realize. With that being said, continue reading to find out more about misconceptions regarding domestic violence today.
Myth #1: Your behavior justifies your treatment.
This is one of the biggest myths out there, and it is so important to stress that it is simply not true. Your behavior never justifies being abused by your partner. It does not matter if you are ‘too quiet’ or ‘too loud’ or you are too ‘xyz.’ Nothing justifies domestic abuse.
5 Ways Parents and the Church Can Help Teens Live Pure Lives
Pornography and masturbation—two words we almost never hear from parents or the church, yet teens are asking questions about them. Children begin watching pornography at younger and younger ages, possibly around four or five years old. Porn becomes a child’s sex education. To help teens live pure lives, we must intentionally invest in their lives and talk about sexuality.
5 Ways Parents and the Church Can Help Teens Live Pure Lives:
1. Have open and honest conversations
One youth pastor shared, “When asking our youth whether their parents ever talked about sex, not one raised their hand.” Parents barely talk about sex past the one time “sex talk.” Talking about purity should be a continual conversation, not a one time talk.
In this book Matt Chandler addresses topics of romance and sex. This book focuses on the marital process as a whole and gives tools to understand your partner and plan ahead for greater intimacy. (Buy on Amazon.)
Now You’re Speaking My Language
This book is specifically from a Christian worldview and is a useful guide to building a strong marriage that is based on intimacy. (Buy on Amazon.)
In this episode of the Table Podcast at Dallas Theological Seminary, Dr. Darrell L. Bock, Jurrita Williams, Jan Edgar Langbein, and I, Joy Skarka, discuss sexual abuse and the #MeToo movement. This is only the beginning of a conversation that needs to continue to our churches.
When this was filmed I had a sinus infection and double ear infections. Praise God for speaking through me despite the physical barriers!
Only God would know that this video, which we filmed months ago, would be needed for such a time as this.