Singleness: When Patience Seems Impossible

Singleness: Lacking Patience “What if I lack patience and want a guy now?” asked a reader. Girl, I understand. I’m impatient. I don’t like waiting. I’m a planner and I have a beautiful plan for how I want my life to go. In my mind, this plan is perfect. We have to remember, our plans may not be God’s plans. We cannot let our marital status dominate our thinking and focus.

When our lives aren’t going according to our plans – we ask God, “Why won’t you do things our way for a change?” I thought I would find my husband in college and get married after graduation. God’s plans did not align with my plans. We expect God to love our plan even when we reject his. Have you rejected God’s plan and decided that your plan is better?

“Singles, God has so much for you to do while you are waiting for a mate, and He can satisfy you so fully with what you are doing that you literally forget what you feel like you are missing out on.” – Tony Evans, Living Single.

Have you been spending so much time thinking about wanting a husband that you’ve missed out on what God has called you to during singleness? I don’t know how long we will be single, but I do know that God does not want us sitting around and wasting our time.

God tells us to obey him. In the book of Job, Job questions God. God responds in Job 38:2 by stating, “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?” Just like Job, we take God’s plans and confuse them with our own words that have no knowledge. Were you there when God laid the earth’s foundation? No, yet why do we doubt God’s plan?

If we don’t like God’s rules or his plan we ask for an exception. Here are some example:

God, I know you want me to marry a Christian guy, but this guy is here now and he is a great guy. Can’t you save him? Maybe I can change him?

God, I know you want me to pursue purity. If you just brought me a husband now I wouldn’t have this problem staying pure.

God’s not going to play by our rules when we don’t follow his. We have to learn to be patient and wait for God’s perfect timing. Noah was patient even when he was stuck on the ark for approximately 370 days – he had to wait for God’s perfect timing.

The story of Jacob is also about waiting. Jacob worked 14 years in order to marry Rachel, the love of his life. Even after waiting, Jacob still believed she was worth the wait. God commands us to wait for the Lord (Psalm 27:14). Our minds only see the present moment, but God can see the big picture. God can see how each and every detail of our lives fit together. God created you and he created this world. He knows exactly where you fit into his plan. You need to trust that he knows what he is doing. Remember, his plans are perfect.

Use this Psalm 40:1-5 as a prayer to God:

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.

Blessed is the one
who trusts in the Lord,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.
Many, Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done,
the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.

My prayer for you is that as you wait for God’s plan, you would put your whole hope in him. That you would spend more time thinking about how you can use this time for God’s glory instead of how your needs aren’t being met. That you would seek God, not a husband. You don’t need to find “the one“, you need to connect with the only One who can satisfy your heart’s desires. (Do you want to know this One personally?)

“For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans 8:24-25.

Friends, hope in the unseen. You may want a boyfriend now, but we have to hope in the fact that God knows our hearts’ desires and needs. Believe that Jesus is enough and trust that his plans are perfect.


Singleness and Patience

7 Comments on Singleness: When Patience Seems Impossible

  1. Lara
    at (8 years ago)

    I want to give girls a big hug when they’re wrestling through these feelings. The hardest thing to believe in the middle of waiting on God is that He can do anything, and He can changes things in an instant, but not obsess over that hope and miss what He has for us in every season of life. The reality is that the future could hold more waiting: to have a baby, waiting for a job, waiting for healing, waiting for a reconciliation, and just… waiting for about anything and everything! One of the most rich, wonderful things to learn in your Christian walk is waiting well. Underneath that lesson is learning to trust God and experience His goodness no matter what our circumstances are!

    • joypedrow
      at (8 years ago)

      Hi Lara!

      Thanks for commenting and bringing love and truth to this post. I loved what you said – God can change things in an instant. He is in control. I met my boyfriend randomly in an elevator. I did absolutely nothing to meet him. God had us meet in His timing. One minute late or early and I would not have met him in that elevator. God has perfect plans. Thanks for encouraging us and reminding us about waiting well!

      You are loved.

  2. Kaci
    at (8 years ago)

    A friend of mine shared your name with me tonight and talked about how amazing your blog is. I just want to say thank you. Your words are exactly what I needed to read.

    • joypedrow
      at (8 years ago)

      Thank you Kaci! Your comment was exactly what I needed to read. Thank you for the encouragement. It is hard sometimes to be so open and vulnerable, but God gets the glory. Welcome to our blog community. Love, Joy

  3. Michelle
    at (8 years ago)

    Thank you so much for this blog. Today I was searching some inspiration on Pinterest and I found your blog. I’m so happy! I really needed to read this. Now I’m going to try to do good stuff while I’m waiting.

  4. Deborah Britt
    at (7 years ago)

    I’m a 65 year woman that believes God has a spouse for me that is so amazing, the devil has tried to make me miss him but i’m firm in faith, Lord I need a single Christian friend to socialize with since I have no family at all and Lord what can I do to serve you during this time of retirement using my talents

    • joypedrow
      at (7 years ago)

      Hi Deborah, I’m so glad God led you to this post. Are you involved in your church? Do you serve? Are you in a community group or Bible study? Those are great ways to make friends and find community. The church is your family. Keep turning to God and praying, God knows your needs and will fill your desire to be fully known and loved by His love. Blessings, Joy