Singleness: When Patience Seems Impossible

“What if I lack patience and want a guy now?” asked a reader. Girl, I understand. I’m impatient. I don’t like waiting. I’m a planner and I have a beautiful plan for how I want my life to go. In my mind, this plan is perfect. We have to remember, our plans may not be God’s plans. We cannot let our marital status dominate our thinking and focus.

When our lives aren’t going according to our plans – we ask God, “Why won’t you do things our way for a change?” I thought I would find my husband in college and get married after graduation. God’s plans did not align with my plans. We expect God to love our plan even when we reject his. Have you rejected God’s plan and decided that your plan is better?

“Singles, God has so much for you to do while you are waiting for a mate, and He can satisfy you so fully with what you are doing that you literally forget what you feel like you are missing out on.” – Tony Evans, Living Single.

Have you been spending so much time thinking about wanting a husband that you’ve missed out on what God has called you to during singleness? I don’t know how long we will be single, but I do know that God does not want us sitting around and wasting our time.

God tells us to obey him. In the book of Job, Job questions God. God responds in Job 38:2 by stating, “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?” Just like Job, we take God’s plans and confuse them with our own words that have no knowledge. Were you there when God laid the earth’s foundation? No, yet why do we doubt God’s plan?

If we don’t like God’s rules or his plan we ask for an exception. Here are some example:

God, I know you want me to marry a Christian guy, but this guy is here now and he is a great guy. Can’t you save him? Maybe I can change him?

God, I know you want me to pursue purity. If you just brought me a husband now I wouldn’t have this problem staying pure.

God’s not going to play by our rules when we don’t follow his. We have to learn to be patient and wait for God’s perfect timing. Noah was patient even when he was stuck on the ark for approximately 370 days – he had to wait for God’s perfect timing.

The story of Jacob is also about waiting. Jacob worked 14 years in order to marry Rachel, the love of his life. Even after waiting, Jacob still believed she was worth the wait. God commands us to wait for the Lord (Psalm 27:14). Our minds only see the present moment, but God can see the big picture. God can see how each and every detail of our lives fit together. God created you and he created this world. He knows exactly where you fit into his plan. You need to trust that he knows what he is doing. Remember, his plans are perfect.

Use this Psalm 40:1-5 as a prayer to God:

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.

Blessed is the one
who trusts in the Lord,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.
Many, Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done,
the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.

My prayer for you is that as you wait for God’s plan, you would put your whole hope in him. That you would spend more time thinking about how you can use this time for God’s glory instead of how your needs aren’t being met. That you would seek God, not a husband. You don’t need to find “the one“, you need to connect with the only One who can satisfy your heart’s desires. (Do you want to know this One personally?)

“For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans 8:24-25.

Friends, hope in the unseen. You may want a boyfriend now, but we have to hope in the fact that God knows our hearts’ desires and needs. Believe that Jesus is enough and trust that his plans are perfect.

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