Many women have faced the terrible trauma of sexual abuse and rape. How can a woman heal and recover from such deep pain? In this episode, I share my personal story of sexual brokenness and how the grace of God intersected with my pain to bring lasting healing and freedom. Wherever you are in your journey, may my story bring you hope and courage.
How to Overcome Sexual Shame: Check out this video from my talk at the adolescent girls ministry, Four ThirTeen Youth Ministry. In this video, I briefly share my story. Then we look to Genesis to see how God created us as sexual brings and how Adam and Eve first experienced sexual shame. Lastly, we will look at three ways we can find freedom from sexual shame.
Testimony: From Pornography Addiction to Redemption God uses our pain and our past to help others. Joy Skarka Skarka has struggled with promiscuity, pornography, masturbation, and sexual shame. She will share her story, and talk about the freedom we have in Christ.
Thank you Northwest Bible Church Recovery Ministry for having me! Here is their website for more info: https://www.northwestbible.org
19 Part Series on Rape Culture on Aspire2.com
Dr. Sandra Glahn invited me to write this 19 part series on rape culture for her blog, Aspire2.com. All 19 parts to the series are listed below. By the end of this series, I hope that you will be able to see examples of rape culture in your daily life, understand that these cultural narratives dominate media, and take steps to help change these dynamics.
Every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. Women and girls experience sexual violence at higher rates than men and boys. Eighty-two percent of all juvenile victims are female, and ninety percent of adult rape victims are female. Sexual assault affects everyone around us, yet most of the perpetrators walk away. Out of 1,000 rapes, 995 perpetrators will not go to jail. Because of this fact and many other reasons which this series will cover, many people do not report crimes to the police. Only 230 out of every 1,000 sexual assaults are even reported to authorities. That means about three out of four go unreported.*
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Sexual Discipleship for
Young Women Resource List
Freedom from Porn and Masturbation
In this episode of the Table Podcast at Dallas Theological Seminary, Dr. Darrell L. Bock, Jurrita Williams, Jan Edgar Langbein, and I, Joy Skarka, discuss sexual abuse and the #MeToo movement. This is only the beginning of a conversation that needs to continue to our churches.
When this was filmed I had a sinus infection and double ear infections. Praise God for speaking through me despite the physical barriers!
Only God would know that this video, which we filmed months ago, would be needed for such a time as this.
As my now husband and I were dating, we felt shame for our sexual desires. We chose to avoid sex before marriage, but longed for “oneness.” No one told us this was normal, healthy even, and that God created us as sexual beings. The fact that we desired sex revealed that we were two healthy humans. Instead of praising God for our heathy bodies, we felt embarrassed for desiring something off limits.
Enter sexual shame into our relationship.
This was not the first time I experienced shame. I felt the need to hide my sexual desires as a young single woman. I felt shame after going too far with my high school boyfriend, and after my dad found a hickey on my neck, and after experiencing sexual abuse.
Many things can make us experience sexual shame. We feel sexual shame when… (more…)
Every 98 seconds, an American experiences sexual assault. Raped my freshman year of college, I joined the 321,500 victims (age 12 or older) who experience rape and sexual assault each year in the United States. As a victim of sexual abuse, I joined the many women who spoke out in the #MeToo movement.
After last October, when the #MeToo movement went viral, I posted on Facebook and Twitter. It felt empowering to think—others struggle too. This wasn’t the first time I posted online for the whole world to see about my abuse. I’m a blogger who often writes about my abuse. But for the first time, others joined me in speaking out. Friends I had known for years, speaking out for the first time. Friends I could connect with and share how Jesus had healed me from the emotional destruction of sexual abuse. However, #MeToo has created more than cathartic relief. (more…)
With a past filled with sexual abuse, promiscuity, and an unhealthy sex education, I lacked a healthy view of sexuality. The biggest lie that I believed was that I was sexually broken.
My view of sex was far from the truth that God promises in His love letter. I had two distorted and conflicting views of sex:
Jesus loves people who watch porn. Jesus even loves porn stars. Yes, Jesus loves both of these groups of people. No matter what, His love for them will never change. Why is this? Because Jesus came to save the broken, the lost, and the hurting.
While on earth, Jesus spent most of His time with lost, broken people. In Matthew 9:12-13, Jesus states, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
Spiritually healthy people don’t understand that they are sick, sinful, and in need of a Savior. But the sick, they line up outside of the doctor’s office hoping for something to heal the pain. Do you realize that you are sick and in need of a savior? Maybe you are immune to the hurting in your heart. Maybe you think these feelings are normal. Maybe you actually think you are spiritually healthy. (more…)
