I am a Female Freshman: The Painful Realities of College

The painful realities of freshman in college. JoyPedrow.com

Pain is running rampant on college campuses across the globe. Still in college, I have seen and experienced the pain. Some women lack an understanding that they have a God in heaven who loves them and created them with a plan and a purpose. Not knowing about God, they turn to the things the world tells them will provide pleasure and satisfaction. For a college freshman, those things include: boys, sex, drinks, a perfect body, and cool friends.

Maybe you live in a bubble and don’t realize this is happening on our college campuses. Please, open your eyes and realize that pain is spreading like a disease. Women are hurting themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and Jesus is the only one who can provide healing.

I’m sorry for the language, but I want you to read the honesty and pain in her words. This is a poem written by a freshman who is living in the pain:

I am a female freshman.
I live in a 2 ft. by 2 ft. prison cell.
My roommate has sex when I am in the room.
I’ve gained 15 pounds or more since August.
I got more ass in the first 2 weeks of college than ever before.
I now get less ass than ever before.
I drink Beast from a keg and Nattie Light from a can.
I pretend to believe frat guys even though I know they suck…
I just want some ass.
I wear a pea coat, tight black bootie pants, tank tops, and platforms.
I have a 2.1 GPA.
I walk in the dark, cold rain for a beer, but I won’t walk to classes in the same weather. I never make my 8:00 class.

I am a female freshman.

I have been molested on the dance floor.
I have hooked up with all the guys in my dorm. I have mono.
I don’t sleep, except through classes.
I survive on power naps.

I am a female freshman.
I drink more vodka than water.

My new best friend is the toilet.
I black out for extended lengths of time.

I am a female freshman.

I’ve learned what it means to re‑wear clothes until they are so dirty they are stiff.
I’m familiar with the vague embarrassed feeling the morning after a night of complete unadulterated drunkenness.

I am a female freshman.

I promised myself that I will work off that large pizza I ate last night…
Tomorrow, maybe…
I’ve learned, to my dismay, that college boys are the same as high school boys…a year or two older.

I am a female freshman.

I found this poem on Shelby Abbott’s blog. Shelby did not write it but also found it on another blog. He works on staff with Cru, and also write books for college students. When I read this poem my heart sank. This is the reality of college for some women, not just freshman. I wrote this so you will see a glimpse into the reality of college campuses. Do you know a girl who just entered college or who has been in college for a year or so? Have you talked to her about these things? Have you told her about Jesus?

When I was a freshman in college, I experienced some of the pain that exists, and I can only imagine how my life would have changed if I had someone share with me the realities of college and the truth that only Jesus can fulfill every little crack in my heart.

Share Jesus with the young women in your life. Speak truth into their hearts. If you know a young women, send them my blog and help them experience the life change that only Jesus provides.


11 Comments on I am a Female Freshman: The Painful Realities of College

  1. Lauren
    at (10 years ago)

    Very powerful post. This is one reason I didnt got the traditional route to college but sadly I did the same things my “freshman” year and didnt have to be on campus or go to college. I also know many 20 and 30 something women who can relate to this poem. We can keep being the beacon of light to all women and their hurt. As someone who tried to fill the void with things of the world – only HE can fill it and it took time for me to learn this. Keep up the writing! Your voice is powerful Joy!

    • Joy Skarka
      at (10 years ago)

      Hi Lauren! Thanks for your honest comment! I’m glad that you discovered that only Jesus can fill the void. It does take time and sadly countless heart breaks, but how cool is it that God used all of that to bring you to him. Praise God! Thanks for your encouragement and I look forward to staying connected in this blogging community.

  2. Lyli @ 3-D Lessons for Life
    at (10 years ago)

    Joy, it’s heartbreaking. I am so thankful for ministries like Cru that are in the trenches sharing true life in dark places. Thanks for reminding me to let my little light shine to sisters out there who need to see a different way to go.

  3. Jenna @ A Savory Feast
    at (10 years ago)

    Thanks for sharing this Joy! It really is so sad that this is the reality for a lot of young women in college. I’m glad to hear you are taking a stand to bring change to your campus.

  4. Brittany at EquippingGodlyWomen.com
    at (10 years ago)

    Being a young woman is tough. I can’t wait until someday when I can have more of an impact on young women like this.

    • Joy Skarka
      at (10 years ago)

      You can have that impact today! God is using you and your blog to help women I am sure!

  5. Alyssa Santos
    at (10 years ago)

    This poem. wow. I have a daughter in college, and this is not her life. My sister’s daughter dropped out her freshman year. This freshman female could have been writing my niece’s thoughts. She is lost in the world; and the lie, it feeds her deception that instant gratification is a swell substitute for right relationships, peace with God, self-respect…. So she tweets about hotboxing and waking up drunk and she is isolated by her choices from anyone who cares about her. And we, heartbroken, pray. We pray for a sliver of light to pierce her darkness, because when it’s very, very dark, a small light is light enough to reveal the sin and lead her out of the darkness.

    • Joy Skarka
      at (10 years ago)

      Hi Alyssa, thanks for your comment. Has your daughter tried to reach out to your niece? Maybe hearing about Jesus from a peer would help her. Continue to pray for her and never give up hope. God is in control and has her in his hands. <3

  6. alyssa
    at (10 years ago)

    This is such a powerful thing. Being a freshman female is rough.I remember being terrified my first semester and my roommate having sex while I was in the room, and I was diagnosed with clinical depression and panic disorder. I missed class because I didn’t sleep enough during the night. I am one of the 1 in 4 women. It’s hard but it’s not impossible. You just have to be strong.

    • Joy Skarka
      at (10 years ago)

      Hi Alyssa, thank you for your heart felt comment. You are not alone. I don’t know if you read my story, but I am one in four as well. I want you to know that God loves you so much, and did not want this to happen to you. Eventually, I will be blogging about the common lies women who have been victims believe. Be sure to subscribe or follow so you’ll get those. But in the mean time, I want you to know I am here for you. If you have questions, or just need to talk to someone e-mail me. joypedrow.wordpress.com. No one should go through this alone <3

  7. Rebecca (@beccabfthunder)
    at (10 years ago)

    wow. It’s so good to be reminded that there are so many people out there who are dying for hope and the love of Jesus. I’m a senior in college, what an encouragement for me to share Jesus!